The question of the week this week, Question of the Week: March 20th, 2018, over on The Asexual Agenda, is:
How do you tell the difference between a friend and a crush?
I once saw a post on facebook saying ‘that tingly feeling you get when you like someone is common sense leaving your body’. I really like this definition because the only way I can really tell that I have a crush on someone is that I notice myself being kinda stupid around them. Even then though, I don’t really think I treat crushes much differently to how I treat new friends. Either way, what I want is to get to hang out and talk and do fun things with them, so it all ends the same.
Can you describe what it feels like to have a crush? Or a squish or other types of attraction? Are these things easy for you to differentiate? How do you decide what to do about your shiny new feelings?
I have a whole blog post worth of an answer. Please check out the other comments there for other people’s answers! There are plenty of good ones.
Continue reading “Me & Squishes (a Lack of Experiencing Crushes)”
This is my entry for the May 2017 Carnival of Aces, which I hosted and chose to theme around “Kissing, Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, etc!”. The round-up of all 12 submissions that month can be found here. I’m sorry this post is so long. I’m sort of overflowing with thoughts. Also this was written in one sitting late at night so please feel free to point out errors. This was cross-posted to my tumblr as well.
I don’t feel like I need touch in my life much at all, most of the time.
That being said, I have the ability to really like it. In a kinda demi-sensual kind of way, if that’s a thing. (I’m 100% asexual, no grayness there, no sexual attraction, but if I have a lot of trust-feelings for you, like a LOT of positive feelings about our relationship, then there is a pretty good chance I’ll like touch.)
I am comfortable but fairly neutral with touch when it comes to me and small children. (They can still cross boundaries that make me uncomfortable, such as making me take off my glasses and then I feel overly vulnerable, which kind of happened to me a week and a half ago with a 3 year old in my extended family lol.) I don’t crave touch from small children – I crave other types of attention from children, I want to make them happy, I love the emotional reaction they can have to me at times, but I’m not overly touchy feely unless they initiate it. I am much more comfortable holding babies than holding any animal though.
With people who are peers though, fellow young adults, or from older family members… I can have positive associations with touch!
Continue reading “Kissing Aversion, but Demi-Sensual About Other Touch”