I am excited to be hosting this month!! If you don’t know what the Carnival of Aces is, check out the details here: http://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/a-carnival-of-aces-masterpost/ Everything is explained wonderfully if you just click the link. 😉
I hope to get multiple intriguing submissions, so please consider submitting something, even if it’s short! Whatever you have to say, even if it’s small, is worth adding to the discussion. 😉
The theme I’ve chosen for this month is: “Analogies to an Asexual Experience”.
What I mean by this is: We all have a lot of different experiences in our lives, and maybe we have noticed that something completely unrelated to sex/attraction/etc has reminded us of asexuality, or has had parallels to something asexuals talk about? Maybe there is an analogy you can draw that other people might not have thought of before. You don’t personally have to have experienced it to draw an analogy, either. You can just have thought of an interesting parallel and write about it… just make some kind of analogy, it can even be a fictional story where the whole thing is one big analogy, kind of like an allegory lol. Just try to tie it into something that people in the asexual community deal with/like to think about/talk about/etc.
The Free Dictionary gives one of the definitions of analogy to be: “Similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar.” So please just consider something asexuality-related or consider asexuality as a whole and try to think if there is something else you’d like to talk about that is similar in some ways, despite being different!
Some ideas for the topic:
- There may be something else in your life that you don’t experience, in addition to sexual attraction. You don’t understand why all of the other people in your peer group enjoy playing video games. Maybe you don’t feel like a “shipper” when you watch TV shows, or maybe you don’t like watching TV at all and you don’t get why people love it so much, or you do “get it” yet don’t experience it anyway. Or there are so many other things in life that you might not experience/feel/get the appeal of that so many other people do. Even people in the asexual community. Like how not all of us like to eat cake! (In some of these examples, maybe sex-indifference or sex-aversion would be more applicable than a lack of sexual attraction? I don’t know.) If you are neuro-atypical or are disabled in any way, there is likely something else that many other people experience but that you either experience differently, or not at all (an easy example being sounds, if you are Deaf!). The final bullet point on this list is also related to this one.
- Maybe the way that the difference between romantic and platonic attraction confuses you (concepts quite relevant in asexual circles) is very similar to how a difference between two other concepts (that are not particularly relevant in asexual circles) might confuse you! Or a single concept like sexual attraction might be as hard to find a good definition for as much as some other single abstract idea!
- Perhaps the way asexuality is not in the media enough (and when it is in the media, it’s too often misrepresented or misleading the general public in some way) reminds you of another way a topic is handled in fictional media, such as… mental illness? Or so many other things you might think apply here.
- It is possible that the way that people have reacted to you coming out as asexual is similar to how people react to some other thing you reveal about yourself!
- Maybe you really wish asexuality was taught in sex-ed when you were in high school (or younger!) and there is also something else you wish was taught in school but isn’t!
- Being a religious (or non-religious) minority, or an ethnic or racial minority, a disabled minority, a gender minority, or any other minority (see the next, and final, bullet point in this list for one very specific example!) might sometimes feel similar in some ways to being in the asexual minority. The communities might have paralleling characteristics. The experience of having this identity might have similarities. The way the majority treats both groups might have parallels. Etc!
- laoci on the asexuality sub-reddit has considered the fact that Musical Anhedonia (not feeling anything when you hear music!!) probably has a lot of parallels to being asexual: http://en-us.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/20rhyi/offtopic_but_some_parallels_do_you_not_get/ (Including, unfortunately, the fact that some people in the approximately 99% majority who do not relate might want to call both asexuals and people who experience musical anhedonia “freaks” – see the comments on that article!)
Of course these are just some of the countless potential analogies you could draw! I have another idea that I plan to post as my own submission for this month – you’ll see it soon enough! Maybe I’ll even write two posts for the month, since I kind of have two ideas.
I’d love to see you expand on any one of those ideas above, perhaps in nuanced ways I had not thought of? OR come up with your own new ideas for analogies. Don’t be afraid to be creative. If in doubt, it probably is close enough to my theme. Maybe some of the analogies drawn by the various people who write up submissions for this carnival will end up helping people explain to allosexual friends and loved-ones what an aspect or two of their asexual experience has been like! Or maybe the comparisons will just be interesting for all of us fellow ace-spectrum folk to read about!
In the past, I have noticed that this has kind of already been done a few times.
- I don’t want people to copy this exactly, but I think a good example of something that would fit this prompt would be when about 2 years ago, Shades of Gray posted a Guest Post from Olivier on her grasexuality blog that had a wonderful analogy about how an asexual who thinks they’re allosexual might try exploring different sexual things could be compared to trying different types of vacations/holidays… trying to find the perfect vacation spot… well, just read the post. The word “analogy” is even used and I think it is a lovely extended metaphor. Again, obviously that specific analogy has already been drawn, but maybe it’ll help you when you’re brainstorming for your own post?
- Even longer ago, around 3 years ago, Audacious Ace briefly compared a romantic pursuit to the sport of hunting, and perhaps an analogy such as this one could be expanded? Or turned on its head in some way? I don’t know. 😛
- More recently, Sara over at the notes which do not fit wrote a bit about her asexuality in terms of an analogy to how/when she could(n’t) hear the coos of pearl-necked doves…
- wrote two-and-a-half years ago about how attraction is like wine.
over at Skeptic’s Play
- In October 2012, Queenie made a brief mention in her post for the Sex-Ed Carnival about kids feeling pressured to grow up to be straight and compared it to feeling pressured into various specific careers.
- This isn’t really all that asexuality related, but Cliff Pervocracy created a nice analogy here saying that having sex that isn’t rape is like cooking food that isn’t poison. So really this kind of thing has already been done in the past. I’m not saying it’s never been done. But I just thought this might make for a fun topic for this month’s Carnival of Aces.
Submissions may be in any form: written, video, audio, a chart, comics, fictional prose that makes a point, poetry, etc.
To submit, you may post a link in the comments on this post, message me through tumblr, tweet me @luvtheheaven, message me through YouTube at luvtheheaven5, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If want to make a submission and do not have anywhere to post it, send your submission to that email address. 😉 I’ll post it as a “Guest post” here on my blog, and I can credit you by a name of your choice!
said last month… Happy blogging!
I’m really looking forward to your submissions. 😉