Tumblr Aro Asks meme, my answers (part 4 of 4)

As I said here in part 1, and also part 2 and part 3, I’m gonna answer all of these, in a 4 part series of answers. Cross-posted to tumblr.

This is part 4 of 4.

Onto the final chunk of questions… some of these are much more fun than the previous parts.

13. do you headcanon any characters as arospec?

Yes. More and more recently. Almost all of the characters I headcanon as asexual I see as on the aro spectrum? I just project a lot of myself onto those characters. It’s harder for me to really understand a fully romantic yet asexual mindset, so I tend to gravitate toward “but is there any way they could possibly be aro, at least aro-spectrum, instead?” and since the boundaries between aromanticism and alloromanticism are so fuzzy, it basically always works, ESPECIALLY since I’m mainly in TV show fandoms where you don’t really know the characters’ thoughts.

I also interpret some characters as not ace at all, yet still aro. I see it in Oliver Queen on Arrow – maybe Sara Lance in Arrow & the spin-off DC’s Legends of Tomorrow too, now that I think about it… although that’s a stretch but idk…. I could write long meta about how it’d work.

Derek Morgan on Criminal Minds works well for me as aromantic and happily childfree, at least prior to his final season as a star on the show…

There are certainly more but we can chat on tumblr if you want to talk fandom…

14. are you a cartoon or reality tv aro?

UH… Neither? Probably Cartoon. I’ve watched small amounts of both in my adult life, probably more Cartoons though.

15. are you an classical music aro or pop music aro?

Pop music is certainly my jam, not that I have anything against classical…

Speaking of, I’ve been thinking of starting a regular series of analyzing lyrics in popular songs, or maybe just any song I hear on TV shows or that I downloaded from iTunes or Amazon for whatever reason… from the perspective of amatonormativity and compulsory sexuality and how ace and/or aro friendly it is, or… more often, isn’t… 😛 Would any of my blog readers be into that? Idk. It’s sort of a temptation I’ve been having for a few months now though.

16. are you a novel or comic book aro?

Uh… I guess novels. But not much of anything lately. I could see myself getting more into comics, graphic novels, even webcomics but I just haven’t yet. I’m not really either.

17. are you a succulent person or flower aro?

Another tough one for me… I’m gonna say flowers.

18. are you an introverted or extroverted aro?

I’m an ambivert. I tend to get introvert as my result on personality tests, but I’m way more extroverted than most introverts I come across, especially in ace spaces. I think I’ve grown less introverted in recent years too.

19. are you a rainy or sunny day aro?

Rainy… although maybe this side of me is changing with time too, idk? XD I think I am finally an adult with a surprising number of practical concerns where rain can interfere… and rain frizzes my hair… it’s not the best for driving or walking in, recording podcasts or podfics in even when indoors the noise gets picked up, etc… so I don’t like rainy days like I once did.

20. are you a stay home or go out aro?

My addiction to fandom means stay in… I enjoy going out quite a lot though… hence my torn ambivert tendencies, perhaps… XD Lol I’m both. If I had to pick though maybe stay in. Go out is too vague. Certain types of going out are no fun.

21. are you a dog or cat person aro?

Neither. Not a pet person. Can I pick fish? Turtle? Idk lol. Okay but if I had to choose I strongly prefer cats to dogs, especially like… at other people’s houses. I don’t really want to own a pet but this is a place I’d compromise if my partner wanted one… I could possibly even learn to like dogs more…

22. are you a mermaid or dragon aro? 

Ooo there’s mermaid aros? I like it. XD Both are cool. I’ve probably consumed much more fiction with dragons but idk, The Little Mermaid was my favorite Disney movie growing up… I think mermaids are more feminine and I have always kinda been a girly girl? I gravitate toward the more feminine choice. (see my flower answer above lol.)

23. are you an early riser or night owl aro?

Night owl. Definitely.

24. are you a harry potter or percy jackson aro?

Harry Potter. 😉

25. are you a sweater or t-shirt aro?

Uh… Idk? T-shirt, maybe. But lately probably more Sweater. But over my lifetime, t-shirt definitely?

26. do you own any aro pride stuff (t-shirts, stickers, ect)?

No. Wouldn’t be opposed to one day! For now barely acquiring ace related pride stuff… idk. I do identify more surely as ace, it’s the stronger part of my identity.

27. do you want a romantic relationship?

No… but whether I’m already in one without intending to be is another question? XD Lol. I’m in a queerplatonic relationship. But is it really not romantic. I. mean. Uh… We will see what happens. I don’t think I want to call it romantic. Ever. But who knows how I’ll feel in a year. Also don’t want this partnership to ever end so I don’t really forsee needing to work this out with a different, future partner… but you know, if needed I will of course go back to the drawing table on this question. I am fairly sure the answer will always be no.

28. best part of being aro?

Being… compatible with my current queerplatonic partner? If I was waiting for romantic attraction to someone I probably wouldn’t have partnered with him, or if I felt those feelings for him he might not have wanted to be with me? And I’m really happy that we’re together. So life worked out, I guess. 😛

There’s lots of good things, idk what it’s like to not be me, so it’s a kinda weird question!!

3 thoughts on “Tumblr Aro Asks meme, my answers (part 4 of 4)

  1. Just catching up on some ace blogging I missed these past few weeks… Man, I gotta say, some of these questions are really weird, especially the either/or ones, lol.

    I’m curious how you read Oliver as aro-spec. I can see it with Sara for sure (apart from Nyssa at least), but I never really considered it with Oliver until now. I will say that I absolutely hate when they push romantic storylines for him though. I would have quit watching during the Donnie Darko season if my partner wasn’t so into these shows, honestly (not just because of the romantic subplots, but because the whole season, imo, was written pretty poorly, especially the villains). The show is better when Oliver isn’t dating anyone, or is only dating super casually.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading my aro ask meme answers, makes me feel like maybe it was worth answering all the questions after all, even the really weird ones hahaha.
      Right after I posted this I realized I really wished I’d mentioned more female aro headcanons that I’m more sure of than Sara Lance although the more I think about it, the more I like seeing Sara that way… but like Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, while it’s so the first film she works really well with that interpretation and plenty of people like to consider her aroace, while others happily ship her with guys, and a few imagine her in femslash pairings despite the lack of other female characters in that first film of the sequel trilogy… She really could work for any of it. I like Rey as aroace a bit more than I like the common Elsa on Frozen as aroace headcanon for some reason. I also really am attached to all queer interpretations of Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter, but especially the idea of someone like her being aro spectrum makes me happy.

      It’s still harder for me, outside of Sara Lance, to think of too many female characters I headcanon as allosexual for sure yet aro spectrum.

      About Oliver yeah, I was hoping to write something up about my aromantic headcanon for him soon. I think last season of Arrow with Damien Darhk (lol Donnie Darko, I didn’t even notice you had written anything different than the actual Arrow villain’s name, at first) was my least favorite season and I was less interested than usual but still I’m pretty attached to all the Arrowverse shows. I strongly prefer when Oliver’s arcs aren’t tied too much to romance too.

      Oliver might be like the friend I met who identified as aromantic due to trauma, except Oliver also doesn’t act particularly like he had to have been alloromantic prior to the Gambit sinking and all of his trauma? Pre-Island Oliver acts like the exact type of aromantic heterosexual young man that society is extremely prejudiced against, and his “fear of commitment” where he doesn’t want to move in with Laurel at age 24 and potentially is self-sabotaging his relationship when he invites Sara to join him on the trip is fun for me to interpret as not “immaturity” or not that he just “hadn’t met the right woman”, I prefer to think that he just isn’t alloromantic and he loved Laurel, and he later loved Felicity, and maybe a few other women in his life too, but while they loved him with full romantic love and he felt that love from them and was grateful for it, he was also overwhelmed by it and for him, really he loved them the same way he loves close friends or family members. I see him as going through the motions of romantic actions, both before and after his trauma, I see him as matching a lot of what aromantic people describe feeling before they realized being aromantic was an identity they could claim? Idk. I know other people who consider him demiromantic especially in regards to how his feelings developed for Felicity or other aro spectrum identities, and I definitely consider Oliver/Sara as a sexual relationship in season 2 and deep platonic bond, they’ve got some level of care for each other and comfort around each other… but when they’re together there (s2) it’s really not a romantic relationship in my eyes… etc etc.

      I don’t think it’s the only interpretation for Oliver Queen possible but I personally do think he experiences crushes or other romantic feelings to a lesser degree, if at all, than alloromantic people do. Compare to Diggle’she feelings for Carly or Lyla, compare to Tommy’s conviction in his feelings for Laurel, and I feel Oliver just doesn’t feel things the same way? Now with Roy’s feelings for Thea that comparison might break down, and how differently Roy feels romantic stuff compared to how Oliver feels it, I’d have to rewatch the show and as it is right now in my mind, idk if there’s much obvious difference or not.

      Still, while there can be a huge spectrum in the manifestation of romantic feelings among alloromantic people and characters, I like thinking that Oliver can be a fully happy, realized person who would be more comfortable in his own skin and understand his feelings better if he knew about aromanticism and identified somewhere there. I like thinking he would be better able to decide if he wanted a traditional romantic relationship in his life at all, and if he did how to be ok with having a different category of feelings for his partner than they would for him.

      I have a lot of Oliver feelings… 😛 And lately have been thinking I am inspired to make a fanvideo tribute character study, perhaps.


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