My mother put lipstick on my lips when I was ten
I found out I was allergic
not just to lipstick but also chapstick and other products
They swelled up and prickled
as she said “we pay a price for beauty”
I didn’t want beauty at ten, but I didn’t want to stand out either.
Boys took an interest in me
my friends said I was lucky
but I felt like a flame that moths kept running into
one of us had to sacrifice something
I didn’t want to cause harm, or cater to another.
College came and friends faded out over distance and apathy
until their numbers changed and no one informed me
A boy asked to date me and all of the sudden
Look, she’s human after all
Suddenly my own gender could understand me
as if I had nothing of interest to say before dating
…though it wasn’t that great to date him
…though it wasn’t that great to have puffy lips
…and it wasn’t that great to let him down
I guess they could gossip.
I guess I fit in…
… but I doubt I’ll ever do it again.
(This was a guest post. The poem above was written by 2cq5 as a submission for this month’s Carnival of Aces. It was emailed to me and I have thus posted it to my blog. Please enjoy 2cq5’s submission and leave comments for 2cq5 below. Also, about the formatting: I could not figure out how to separate the 4 stanzas without using the page break line. When I tried to just have blank space there, it merged this into one big continuous stanza, which is incorrect and wrong. Hopefully the feel of the poem is not ruined by the lines being there? Please try to ignore them.)